An Already Ridiculous Video Enhanced by Hilarious Captions

Posted: June 28, 2012 in Collapse
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

First, I’m not going to be nice and polite about this video and its “star.”  Second, this has nothing to do with literature, film, comics, or similar things I usually post about on here.  Third, while I too usually skim through video posts, you have to watch the video–with the captioning (“English transcribed”) ON–to get any idea of how awesome/bad this is.

Cool story, bro. But let me fix that for you:

I have the sense of humor (and photoshop skills) of a 9 year old

On the surface, this video (linked below) is just another how-to for preppers/survivalists/etc that I came across due to it being suggested by youtube in the sidebar when I was watching some other stupid thing someone linked me to.   On closer inspection, however, this may be the most ridiculous bug-out bag ever, based on contents (the net sum of the video and context may be the most ridiculous thing I’ve seen for a few days).  The purported SWAT officer showing off his bag has a ton of absurd shit in it, including body armor, and the bag must weigh close to 100 pounds.  This amount of gear and weight is stupid and impractical enough without having to consider this man, who is obese, trying to “bug out” (ie, move quickly through mixed terrain and make yourself disappear) with this strapped to his back.  I know it is insensitive, but I’m pretty sick of seeing “preppers” or “survivalists” who are extremely overweight and out of shape.  I’m no marathoner/triathlete myself, but I do work out regularly (weights and cardio) and stay within a reasonable weight range. I can jog a good distance with a light pack if necessary, etc.  However, the number of people on TV or youtube who profess to be prepping and are grossly overweight are testament to a narrow, gun- and gear-minded approach to survival and preparedness.  If you can’t hike 10 miles in a reasonable time with your bug-out bag, it ain’t a bug-out bag, bro.

What makes this video even more absurd is the captions produced by youtube (ie, the “English (transcribed)” thing that this video defaults to (click it on via the “CC” bottom button if not automatic)).  I capped a few, but it is worth watching the whole video:

some caps:

indeed

no doubt he does

I don’t even

KOSHER CHICKENS? In my bug out bag?

Well, that explains everything.

I’m not 100% sure on how youtube gets these captions, but thanks for the laughs, youtube.  I don’t really have anything else to add to this (probably) accidental lulzcow.

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